How I Never Want to Feel Again… And What I Am Doing About It.

So, this is kinda hard to write. It has been on my mind since I had an eye appointment last week. At that appointment I was told that I could have swollen optic nerves and they want to do more testing. They haven’t said what could be done about it, just that they would send me to a specialist if that came back positive.

So me being me and not taking my own advice I start googling what could happen and what the cause could be. The three most common causes are brain tumors (I was evaluated for those when migraines started happening so none of those), high blood pressure (every time it is checked I have perfect blood pressure) and obesity (Bingo!!)

This completely knocked me down, mentally. I have been trying to lose weight this year and one week it will go up and the next down and it is discouraging. My sweet husband knew I wanted to lose weight, despite his claims he likes my looks the way I am, also knows I love chocolate and Diet Dr. Pepper and made sure we had a steady supply in the house because I like them, so I would help myself and literally have no self control, especially when emotional! It doesn’t help that I know better and that makes me feel more like a failure and then I want to eat more!

And then, I got our pictures back from the sweetheart banquet and I about cried when I saw them. My face is so round and I looked like I was about to pop out of my dress it was so tight. I told my mom I literally regretted wearing it. I don’t ever want to feel like that again.

My husband and I have talked and we are going to work together to lose weight. His knee has recently started hurting as well and he has decided he needs to lose some as well. I am not quite sure what plan we are going to do but I am leaning toward a love child of keto and 21 day fix. I like the idea of keto but the way most people do it, I think needs more vegetables.

Right now, our plan is to meal plan before we go to the store and get some more movement in our day. I realize we cannot change everything in one day. We are starting small, adding more vegetables and not buying soda. When we get that down pat, we will start working on other steps.

What is the worst feeling in the world for you and how do you fix it?

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